A Salford-born mother was heartbroken when she lost her baby girl and is speaking out about the difficulty of Christmas for parents who lose babies.
Gemma Kelly, 35, lost her baby girl, Tilly, shortly before her due date in 2016.
This Christmas Gemma has spoken out about the difficulty of losing a baby and how hard it can be, coping during the holidays.
Gemma said: “We always include Tilly’s memory at Christmas.
“We have lots of Christmas decorations with her name on, and we take a little tree down to her grave.
“The first year after losing Tilly I was desperate to buy toys and lots of girly things so for the first year we did get her presents.”
This was Gemma’s third pregnancy and she knew something was wrong. She phoned the hospital and they advised her to go for a check up.
She said: “The doctor came in to do the scan and told me the baby had no heartbeat.
“We were so excited to have a baby girl because we have two boys already.”
Three years on, Gemma has found ways to live her life again but admits she still finds it difficult.
“It’s been hard, it’s been tough, it’s been a rollercoaster.
“The first 12 months have been the hardest, we just felt like we were surviving.
“What I found really hard was being on maternity leave but not having a baby but I didn’t feel like i could go back to work because I didn’t feel strong enough.”
Not only did Tilly’s death affect Gemma and her husband, it also affected her two sons.
“They were really good, they came to the hospital to see her because I wanted them to meet her.
“They didn’t know what a stillborn baby would look like and she did look really blue and she did look like she had died and it was hard.
“But they were amazing and they made memories and had pictures with her.”
One way Gemma has grieved is by creating an Instagram account for Tilly. She will share many pictures of Tilly, her family and her most recent baby Penny.
“Lots of people message me and it’s quite nice when people reach out because you just want to help them as much as they want to help you.”
However, it wasn’t just positive messages that Gemma received. She has also experience trolling.
Gemma said: “It was hurtful at first but they don’t understand what we’re going through and for us to be able to share a picture of our dead baby is just as important as them sharing a picture of their alive baby.”
With Christmas soon approaching, Gemma is looking forward to spending time with her family, and keeping Tilly’s memory alive.
If you have suffered a stillbirth or miscarriage and would like some advice visit the following websites:
Sands
Tommy’s
NHS
Little Fingers
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